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In all relationships, there is a bridge. You are on one side of this bridge and the other person is on the other. Consider each end of the bridge your “safe zone”. The place you feel most comfortable, safe and self-contained. The only one you have to worry about when you are in your safe zone is you. It’s easier in your safe zone. Life happens and you only need to check in with yourself.

As we choose to engage in a relationship, the full bridge appears connecting one safety zone to the other. The relationship bridge can be with a co-worker, a friend, a child or a romantic partner. The level of intimacy in the relationship doesn’t matter. If it’s a relationship, there will always be a bridge. You on one side of it and the other person on the other. Each and every relationship will have its own bridge. The key to navigating the bridge in each relationship will be finding the middle mark. The middle mark is where both individuals in the relationship, for the most part, will collaborate to make the relationship a healthy and balanced one.

At times, we will need to walk all the way over to the other person’s side of the bridge. Stepping away from our “safety zone” crossing the middle mark and entering their safety zone. This is especially true in intimate partnerships (children, partners, parents, etc.). Typically this will happen when the other individual is feeling inadequate, ill, broken and/or alone. We will walk over to their side of the bridge, check in and help them by offering our love, guidance, and support, which consequently will result in them feeling safe, loved and supported. This is empathy and how resilience is created. At times it will be necessary they come to our side of the bridge offering us this same love, support, and guidance. Reassuring us, we are not alone. This back and forth is what intimacy, trust, and love are built from.

Jan 18, 2023